I haven't been doing the Slow and Steady workout. Or the 30-Day Challenges. I haven't for two days (this is my second day).
I don't know what happened. 21 pushups just seemed like too much. I wasn't sure about the squats, and I didn't want to sweat. So I didn't do it.
I surely plan to do the challenges...make up for the stuff I didn't do as well. It's only right, right? I really should do it.
In terms of foodstuff, I've overeaten...again. Funny though, on Saturday, I was so close to finishing well. I was actually going to finish the day under my calorie goal (for once). And I wasn't even hungry! All I needed to do was eat an orange and then go back to bed. But then...roast chicken, healthy coleslaw, raisins, wheat biscuits and chickpeas entered my stomach as my mum and I watched an interesting TV series on DVD.
If you've never had the experience of wanting to fail because you're so accustomed to it, let me tell you now that it is a weird feeling. It's horrible, because you know you shouldn't and you know you don't have to and you know you're capable of not eating this and that, but one way or another you fail. You ignore all those thoughts and reach for the food anyway, and subsequently you're left feeling like the biggest failure on earth, with zero willpower.
I'm happy right now though. Bear with me, I know I should be upset, but here's why. Today I thought I wasn't going to make it. I thought I would completely lose control and binge (again). But I didn't! Hallelujah! Rather, I "just" overate the day by 500 calories. And I'm happy because tomorrow is my high day. I can have about 1000 calories that day. I'm getting back on track! I'm happy :')
Oh, and guess what?! I completed my willpower exercise on Saturday-no peanbut butter. Not that it was that hard, because I ate it all on Friday.
I'm so determined to completing this daily goal-100 plan binge-free. I looked at my skin today, and it was beyond horrible. My forehead was covered in acne, and my cheeks were beginning to break out too. My cheeks never break out. So as you can imagine, I was pretty crushed. I wrote this note on my phone to myself talking about how bad I look, skin and body. I don't know about you, but this kind of "training" seems to work better for me. I won't ever get anywhere with the "oh, it's okay, just love yourself as you are now" kind of stuff. No, I want HARDCORE.
I CAN'T WAIT FOR MY SKIPPING ROPE TO COME!!! I'm going to get a serious burn and sweat going everyday!
Oh, and guess what?! We might be getting a rowing machine in this house! Not that anyone else except me needs it, because I'm the only one not at gym!! There's this place across our house that sells gym equipment, and they're having an EOFY sale. The rowing machine is $150. Wow, right?
I really really really want it. Now. Only thing is, my dad doesn't seem to comply. My mum does, though and that's all that matters...haha ;) She'll convince him. She always does.
Rowing machines are great calorie burners. Like not just great, but GREAT. And they're so fun!
Guess what. Mum and I went to Rebel Sport outlet today. Sadly, the shorts and tops were all still $20 or so, not $10. But mum just very casually bought two pairs of $50 shoes. And then she bought one for me! They're RED. More reason to go running!!!
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