Feeling Like a Failure!

Okay, so I need to completely fast tomorrow and consume 387 calories the next day to get rid of my current excess calories (not the massive 3000)
I can do this right? I know I'm capable of fasting from when I wake up to when I come home from school, because I'm busy for the whole time. But then, when I get home...mum becomes the most aggressive food pusher to exist, temptations tempt me and I justify my eating. But I need to do this. As in really need to do this. I don't want to be carrying around an excess 2400 calories, especialy in addition to my already excess 3000 calories.

And having a bit of a rant here. I looked at myself after my binge and was really upset. All I could see was the top of my thighs squishing together, a fat stomach and a saggy butt. And when I lifted my knees up, I didn't get a nice gap like this, I got the top of my thighs squishing together and all the fat made my skin look horrible. Bumpy and blemished, not the smooth skin in that picture. And I don't even have a thigh gap anymore! At 48kg, I had a decent thigh gap but it could've been bigger. Now I don't even have one anymore. Don't even get me started about my stomach. I could see the fat rolls when I did situps, and it quite literally spilled over my shorts. Ew.

Sorry about that ramble. It's only been 17 days of calorie counting, 10 days actually restricting, and I've already undone one week with that 3000 excess. So basically I've only restricted for 3 days. Wow. Anyway, slow progress is still progress, right? Sometimes I just wish it would be quicker though...