Day 9

Did you know that on about day 5, I found this too easy? I actually found myself wishing to binge, but I couldn't. That was great, and I know that now (when I want to binge oh so very much), but at the time I didn't see how precious that moment was. 

Anyway, needless to say, last week was brilliantly successful. I stuck to my whopping average of about 1900 a day...but now...oh...it's not going so well, to be honest. I've overeaten so much I logged all my excess calories into the next day, and that's nearly full. I've only got 400 calories left tomorrow, and that number is probably going to decrease...

I used to balance out my calories over the week all the time on my old MFP account, but I stopped because I thought it was wrong, and now I just found out it's okay to...so I've kept that in mind recently...

But yeah. I don't know what to do. When I do have free calories left, I feel funny. Abnormal. And when I have excess calories, I want to binge, cry and fast all at the same time. Haaaalp. And this is day 9 out of 213-ish days. 

Know this, though. I will not give up. I will not have a cheat day and reset my calorie counting. I will make up for my excess calories, even if it takes me to the 213th day. I will not throw in the towel like last time. I will not carry around an extra apple-sized lump of fat (1000 excess calories). I will fight this. 

Wow that was motivational...hahaha...I woke up this morning, and when I looked in the mirror my stomach was almost flat. Just an excess of 1000 calories in line with my belly button...but other than that, flat. And oh so thin. I almost died of happiness. I could have almost gone to the beach comfortably in that gorgeous floral bikini I bought. Oh, about that. I really need to pad it. I just realised it isn't padded...which is very, very awkward, especially since it will get wet. Only thing is, I have no idea how to. The inserts cost $2345678 over here, and I can't exactly buy them online since I can only use my mum's card. And she'll be like, "What did you buy?!" Oh the awkwardness...it's a bandeau style bikini, so I know it needs more of an oval insert than a triangle one. But that's all I know.

Don't remember if I've mentioned this before, but I'm staying off the scale atm. The earliest I initially said I could step on it was in three weeks into my lifestyle diet, but not anymore. My "diet" hasn't been practised long enough to see changes, and that'll just discourage me. Additionally, the scales don't tell the whole story. I may very well be gaining/losing muscle while losing/gaining fat, and since my ultimate goal is to retain as much muscle as possible, my muscle mass may have soared and the scales might have increased as well. 

Oh, and I'm thinking of buying one of those Accumeasure skinfold calipers off eBay. I really want to know my TRUE body fat percentage! Those tape measure methods say it's 17%, but there is seriously no way that's true. It looks more like 25-30%. So I want to get one.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go write a history essay x.

Hello there.

Just wanted to I've been going good so far, and today is the high calorie day! Hahahha...

I also started this exercise program yesterday...you're meant to start it at the start of a new month, but I just did the previous four days in one day. Anyway, on day one, you do 1 squat, 1 push-up and 1 sit-up. The next day, you do two of each. The next day, you do three, and you continue for as long as you can. I'm definitely going to try to do this until I reach my goal weight, and then even try to go past that. I just did 5 of each this morning...

I found Nutella in the kitchen today. For those of you who don't know, Nutella is my greatest enemy, my greatest diet sabotager and my greatest weakness. It has sent me on binges, raised my daily caloric intake by 1000 calories, made me break out in acne and crushed my self esteem. The sugar in it makes it soooooooo adictive it's not even a joke anymore. Anyway, my mum knew about my relationship with Nutella, and she stared at me and told me to chuck it in the bin. I was so happy, because my mum has never told me to throw away perfectly edible food before. So much happiness.

Oh, and I also switched to dark chocolate the other day...I think it was the first day of this month? My lovely mum bought a Boost bar and 85% dark chocolate, so that was basically the last time I had milk chocolate or white chocolate. Since then, I've been having 10 grams of dark chocolate everyday, or one square, which is probably too much but oh well...it helps contain my choco cravings. 

All is good. My maths exam is over, which was surprisingly easy compared to our normal classwork but I think I got a few wrong...the projects are still coming in though...and a history, English and science essay. I won't eat my stress!!!

Quickie Post...

I don't know why the font has gone funny. 

I did my first day of calorie cycling on the maintain week yesterday, it wasn't very hard, seeing as I was allowed to eat 1770 calories...today is 1610, and so is the next...It seems like my attitude towards fat loss/skinnyfying/getting fit has completely changed. That binge week I had has really taken a toll on me, and I gained 2.5 kilos. That's five pounds. Wow. Also, I lost my thigh gap. That beautiful gap. Don’t ask me why I like them okay, I know heaps of people think they’re unhealthy but it’s really to do with your bone structure, and my wide-set hips allow a thigh gap, so I’m quite determined to make the most of it. That doesn’t mean I don’t like it when people don’t have thigh gaps, nor will I ever favour those who do have one, I just like the look of them. I might do a deeper post on them some time later.Anyway, the attitude. I have finally come to the realisation that rapid fat loss is stupid. I knew this day would come, I just didn’t know when. So I’ve made a pledge to do this slowly, and healthily, mainly because rapid weight loss is rapid muscle loss. I want to retain my muscle, especially on my abs! I’ve decided I’m going to work for a solid six pack, but I’ll probably stop when I get to a nice beachy feminine stomach anyway.
I’ve devised that if you aim for something really really high, and you train like you’re aiming for that, you’ll get to your satisfying results (which aren’t really that high) quicker. I’m so logical haha.SO, I’ve settled for a fat loss goal of 1-1.5 kg in my first 3 weeks of calorie cycling, nothing more, because I really don’t want to lose muscle. With my ultimate goal weight of 45 kg, I’ll probably get there in 30 weeks (with a loss of 1kg every 3 weeks), or 210 days, or just short of 7 months. That means I’ll be 54 kg by December 29^th this year. You know what season that is? If you said summer, you are exactly right! I’m serious. This is like the peak of summer! Now I have a serious reason to get serious! (In addition to that size four skirt and a new bikini top I bought the other day!) Oh, another reason is so I can look great when I go on the Duke of Ed hike with my class towards the end of the year, and it’s summer, so there will probably be water and swimsuits. This is motivation at its max. I say my goal is extremely realistic; 1 kg every 3 weeks is extremely reasonable, and I will ignore the opportunities to slip up and correct myself just because my goal is so realistic. If anything, I will stick to my plan very well, and achieve my goal quicker!
I really really want to, and will, build up my ab muscles so by December 29^th, there will be definition! This concept of gradual fat loss makes so much more sense to me now, but I’ve always ignored it in the past. It will enable me to shed the fat without shedding the muscle, and keep the fat off!Oh, by the way, does anyone have any comments on the accuracy of those online body fat calculators? I think it’s called the tape measure method. It seems pretty dodgy to me, but it’s the only method that’s available to me now. I’m contemplating buying the calipers from eBay, which are said to be more accurate if done correctly. I’ve seen them offered for really cheap prices too :)

That was not a quick post. xxx

No.

No, I will not continue with the 4 week plan. Why? My mindset is stuffed up and I just can't. I want to come home at eat all the food all the time. I can't. I constantly think about food, even at school when I'm busy.

I literally just spent 5 days eating 2000 calories and more. Yes, it was the peanut butter that threw me over. I'm sad :( I probably put on the kilo again. The thing is though, 1200 calories should not be hard to stick to!

So what now? I'm stressed. So stressed. I may be developing a binge eating disorder. Yes, it is that bad.

Anyway, I've read quite a few times about gradual calorie reduction...so I'm going to try that. I'll get my weekly calories zig-zagged, because that apparently boosts your metabolism and keeps it running...I don't know though, I thought confusing your body would just confuse it and make it hang on to its resources...
But because I have read about calorie zig-zagging quite a few times, from different sources, I will try it. And of course, I will review it.
It goes for 3 weeks: the first week, I eat my maintanence calories, the second week, I eat fat loss calories, and the third week, I eat extreme fat loss calories. Which isn't even that extreme. The lowest I go is 933, and the highest I go is 1773, on Saturday...awkward, tomorrow's Saturday!

I will try and do an update at least once a week! Wish me luck!

Mid Season Sale Shopping+New Reasons

So. Mid-season sales have officially began. I walked into DFO Moorabin today, and it was wow. Sale signs everywhere!!!!
Anyway, I scored the best stuff. I got an orange pair of wedge sneakers from Platypus for $7. 25 from $125!!! OMG right!?!?! I was literally crying in joy. AND I went into Forever New and bought two hi-lo skirts for $12 each from $40! They were so cute. Totally vintage/indie prints and they're not dramatically lo-hi so that's kewl.

But now I have an actual reason to lose weight. One of those skirts, my favourite one, is a size 4. I can't find a picture of it, but it is absolutely gorgeus. When I tried it on in store, it fit, but it was tight. Kinda really tight. I got a muffin top from it, and it's high-waisted! So yeah, I have to lose some fat if I ever wanna be rockin that skirt anywhere!

Contemplating starting the Skinny Girl Diet. I've read reviews, apparently it works really quick and isn't as hard...

Shoesssss-http://lghttp.17106.nexcesscdn.net/808773/magento/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/s/h/shoes-wedges-wf-dakotaorange_2.jpg
Skirt One-http://www.forevernew.com.au/Cassie-High-Low-Skirt.aspx?p29601&cr=083023
I couldn't find a picture for the size 4 skirt! :(

Eleventh Day Efficacity

Effecacity indeed. I lost 1 kilo! I'm 52 now...haha it's probably not much for others, such as the 25 kilo girl I wrote about previously, but I haven't lost much recently, so this is encouraging.

I am getting scared though...the peanut butter that would help me up my calorie intake? It's now overpowering me. It's causing me to nearly exceed my calorie goal, and I'm nervous. Oh so nervous. I asked my mum to hide it, but she's not for some reason...I'm seriously contemplating chucking the jar out of feeding it to my dogs so I can save myself. 

I also exceeded my fat intak, protein intake and sugar intake, but my sugar just went over by three grams....

Oh, and I discovered an amazing low-cal food today...enoki mushrooms! They're those long stringy, chewy Japanese mushrooms that are virtually in every Japnese dish...probably why they're all so skinny! Anyway, one large enoki mushroom is only 2 calories! The thing is though, I have no idea how big one large mushroom is...anyone got any ideas? 

But yeah. The winter virus has been catching up in my family, so I stayed home today...and ate more...I've got to try and get back on track though. Saying goodbye to peanut butter!

Also had a new diet discovery-the Skinny Girl Diet. It goes for 30 days, and has varying calorie allowances each day. Additionally, you can eat as much fruit and veg as you want, and they don't count into your calorie intake! I'm loving the idea, but I'm not too sure whether it's legit...there isn't anything such as negative calories, and I'm quite sure as much fruit and veg as I want would make me gain a fair bit...I've read amazing reviews though, so I'll probably try it after I finish the 4 week plan.
Oh, and because your body's metabolism adapts to your calorie deficit in about 10 days, I might have a refeed day at the ten day mark, doubling or tripling my calorie intake...then going low low low for the subsequent days to make up for it. 

But yeah, I really need to watch my tastebuds! 

Tenth Day Tenacity!

Hello lovelies!

Today my taste buds came back, and I finished the day at 1167 calories and 74 carbs. Oh, and right now, my definition of low-carb is under 100 grams...I know it's not low to some people, especially those on/have been on the Atkins Diet, where they recommend you take in 7-10 grams of carbohydrates a day. Nevertheless, it is reasonably low for me.

Today at lunch, I skipped my chicken breast and egg for a slow-cooked beef stew, with cauliflower, tomato, carrot and celery. It was deliciousssssss! No added flavour, including salt, and nice and warm for the winter weather coming up! However, the lack of protein did leave me feeling hungry quite quickly, so I had dinner early-a substantial amount of protein, including two egg whites and 75 grams chicken breast.

I think I do need to scale back on my healthy fats a bit though...I exceeded my limit again today, and by 16 grams! That's 144 calories! Whoops, that means I exceeded my calorie goal today...
Mummy dearest bought some peanut butter, and at first I thought "Yay, I can get my body out of starvation mode without carb-loading", but now I know I have to be more careful.
Tomorrow, I'm definitely having my protein for lunch...or it'll be like today.

I am determined to stick to low-carbing till Sunday! xxx